Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What Not to Say....

For years I've joked with students that
I want to be "nominated" for the TV show What Not to Wear-
evidently they all think I'm joking :)
However, I'm being a little serious-
I would love someone to help me figure out what to wear,
how to wear it well, and give me $ to buy cute stuff just for me!

Oops, I  got a little side tracked).... What Not to Say-
occasionally we are surrounded by awkward situations-
when we're just not 100% sure what to say.
You might have the urge to say things like:
  • Oh no, tell me everything that happened?
  • Wow- that must be horrible.  Are you okay?
  • I can't believe it. You must be so upset?
  • How are you doing?
Keep in mind, these pointed questions might work great-
at the right time & right setting.
Sometimes though, the person you're talking to
really doesn't want to answer such pointed questions. 
They feel like they're obligated though because they've been asked. 
Now they're struggling... do they honestly answer the question or
just lie and say "I'm fine" "It's no big deal" Don't worry about it"...

I was taught by one of the best school counselors ever (LAS)
that a simple phrase works so much better!  What to Say:
  • I hope you're feeling better today.
  • Good luck with everything.
  • Nice to see you smiling.
Hear the difference? 
The person you're talking to doesn't feel obligated
to answer such a pointed (maybe quite personal) question. 
You are wishing them well with a phrase that lets them know you care. 
 If they want to elaborate, they can...
If not they will thank you, remember your kindness,
and continue on with their day.

Hope you have a great day!

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